We’re staying put for Christmas.
I’ll go out there for a couple days afterwards. I can do Christmas or her birthday, but not both anymore. (Lord knows I didn’t manage it with any grace or dignity up until now anyway.) The stress isn’t even remotely worth it, and she’s to a point where she doesn’t know if we’re there, and on the off chance that she does, she has no idea how long we’ve been there, and certainly doesn’t know what day it is and whether or not we’re there on Christmas or if I’m just there myself a couple days later. (Nevermind the fact that it costs near 3x as much for both of us to go out there for 8 days vs me there by myself for 4 days.)
I have to say, my attitude towards the holidays has improved immensely since making the decision.