She shoots, SHE SCORES!! (pisceandreamer) wrote,
She shoots, SHE SCORES!!
pisceandreamer

It would seem my grandmother has been watching some Monty Python lately…

The Dead Collector: Bring out yer dead. [a man puts a body on the cart]
Large Man with Dead Body: Here’s one.
The Dead Collector: That’ll be ninepence.
The Dead Body That Claims It Isn’t: I’m not dead.
The Dead Collector: What?
Large Man with Dead Body: Nothing. There’s your ninepence.
The Dead Body That Claims It Isn’t: I’m not dead.
The Dead Collector: ‘Ere, he says he’s not dead.
Large Man with Dead Body: Yes he is.
The Dead Body That Claims It Isn’t: I’m not.
The Dead Collector: He isn’t.
Large Man with Dead Body: Well, he will be soon, he’s very ill.
The Dead Body That Claims It Isn’t: I’m getting better.
Large Man with Dead Body: No you’re not, you’ll be stone dead in a moment.
The Dead Collector: Well, I can’t take him like that. It’s against regulations.
The Dead Body That Claims It Isn’t: I don’t want to go on the cart.
Large Man with Dead Body: Oh, don’t be such a baby.
The Dead Collector: I can’t take him.
The Dead Body That Claims It Isn’t: I feel fine.

Got in last night.  Talk to nurse at care center.  Grandma is sleeping.  Ate like a horse at dinner.  Interacting with people.  Decidedly not on the “dead in 24 hours” list.

Mind you, she’s tired as all get out (the aneurysm-rupture-that-wasn’t did take her down a few notches) and her meds are all kinds of farked up because the MD discontinued everything but Xanax Thursday night*, assuming she was on her way off this mortal coil, but she’s definitely not dead, or actively dying.  It’s undoubtedly shaved a few years off her lifespan, but she is decidedly still among the living.

*This is a good object lesson for the next time I get this call.  If she still has a pulse, leave her damn medication regimen intact.

Tags: family
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